"You know that feeling? When you're just waiting to get home into your room, close the door, fall into bed. Just let everything out that you kept in all day. That feeling of desperation. You're tired. Tired of everything, tired of nothing. You just want someone to be there and tell you it's okay. But no one is going to be there. You know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. But you are tired, tired of being strong. For once you just want it to be easy. To be simple. To be helped. To be saved. But you know you won't be. But you're still hoping, still wishing. And you're staying strong and fighting with tears in your eyes." I honestly don't know what to say or rather, how to describe how I'm feeling right now. I've improved yes but it's not good enough. It's never good enough. I promise that I've already worked hard but I still see no results and today's happening has confirmed that. At times like this, I start to think if I was maybe born to be stupid because no matter how hard I've been working, it just dosen't click. It just isn't working. Why? Why am I like that? Why can't I be smart? I know of people who are born geniuses but often took their gift for granted . Why not give such a born-gift to people who really wants it? Give it to someone who will make use of it and strive to do better? I've told my parents and all they say is just,"You've done your best. Try harder next time." The question is, how many 'next time' are there in life? My major exam is in October and I only have one more prelim to sit for before it's the real deal. There are too little 'next times'. It's now or never. I know my parents just don't want to add on stress and burdern by not scolding and lecturing me because they know how hard this is for me too. However, because of this, I give myself additional pressure. I wanted to prove to my parents that it is possible for your daughter to do well without much scolding from them. But is it really possible? I feel terrible. It's as if I've hit the bottom of my education life. I know I shouldn't feel this way because I know there is still time to catch up if I work 10 times harder than i use too. Question is, I'm starting to doubt myself if it's really possible for me to do well. I've been trying to look at this matter in a optimistic way but truth is,i'm just trying to make myself feel better. People to see me as a cheerful and optimistic girl and today, someone asked me, " Aren't you worried about your results?" Of course I do. I just don't show it. In other words, I'm just putting up a brave front. In fact, I'm going through a really hard time and I am having a battle within.I'm tired and desperate. I don't know where to go from now. Help anyone. I need to swim ashore. I need to stop myself from drowning--there is barely enough air for me to breathe.... ~Dreaming is believing~

4 more days to go to my Chinese Olevels!Really excited and nervous because I really don't know what I can do to prepare myself for Chinese. After all, Chinese is a language and it can't really be practiced . Hmm oh well, probably I'll just practice a few of the past years Chinese papers and we shall see. The past week has been really tiring for me because I have been studying. Sometimes, I really just want to give up because I feel that it's too much heat to take. To me, education is never ending. It just goes on and on and on and I'm really getting exhausted. Hahah but I'll just laugh it off and just let it happen because I know that education is part and parcel of life. After my O levels, I promise I'll play endlessly and just have fun . Can't wait for all that happen . Hees~ Till that day comes, I won't give up! Strive on!!

~Dreaming is believing~

Its been a long while since my last post... During this period of time, I've been facing many problems and I've been really stressed up because of it. After one month of consideration, i've decided to set things straight. I'm gonna focus and work really hard fom now on. I have to say that during this period of time, my parents wasn't as encouraging as I expected them to be. They critisize, discouraged me and because of this, I have cried for several nights. I was on the verge of giving up on everything in life but i've thought to myself, " I've come so far!" I couldn't bear. So, I decided that I will never let the comments of others to bother me. I'm the one walking and controling the path, not them. And yes, I will give it my all for this Olevels and prove to those who look down on me (: I guess i'll write in more often now since its the holidays and it certainly is also the time for me to buck up and catch up... Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game~

~Dreaming is believing~

Heyy all! Sorry for not writing again but anyways, I just got my results. It wasn't that good from what i expected. Disappointed yes but however on the bright side, i shall take it as an area to improve instead of being devastated and all. As i said, this year is a crucial year for me so I have to really REALLY pick up my mistakes that i made for this exam and try to learn and correct from it. Well, I always believe that as long you persist, you will succeed! Like they say, slow and steady wins the race. As long as you keep moving and not stoping,someday, you will succeed. By the way, it is going to be june holidays soon! I might be able to write more post but in the meantime though, other than practicing on my work, of course, one must learn how to relax sometimes. Don't get to stressed up!!Doing YOUR very own best is enough. Lets continue striving for the best yeah ! (:

~Dreaming is believing~

Heyy again! Nowadays, I'm feeling so stressed up. I don't know what to do, whether am I doing things correctly and stuff. I feel like just putting down everything and rest for just a day! Well, what can I do? This is life. So, I've decided to face it strongly. I've been thinking for the pass few weeks and this show be my determination for now. Persistence: It does not matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop. I must strive on. DO NOT GIVE UP! Nothing is impossible. Though I may feel stressed out at times, I'll still do my best. Maybe take a break and continue with life. Okay, thats all I have for now. Dont really expect me to write in often as I have tons of things to do. Still, I'll try my best! Keep going!

~Dreaming is believing~

SORRY! Its been a long long time since I wrote in this blog again. I'm so busy studying nowadays. I want to do my best and pursue my dreams . I would love to go into the 8 subject course and go to the JC that I want. So, perhaps, I won't be writing in as frequent but to those reading this, go and pursue your dreams instead of letting them find you. You'll will be satisfied at the end of the day after you accomplised everything. 先苦后甜. Let's do our best! (:

~Dreaming is believeing~

Holidays are soon coming to an end. Time really flies and we will soon be back to school life again but I don't mind. I kind of think that going to school is fun. It is better than staying the whole day at home. Or should I say, stuck at home. Anyway, I have not completed my holiday homework so I got to go finish it up. I hope tomorrow will be a better day then today.

~Dreaming is believing~





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